The Notebook

Watching this again for the gazzilioneth time, I hang onto every word and wonder…I was reading the other day about a couple that had fallen in love and been separated 60 odd years ago and had reunited and are now getting married.

The first love is supposedly the most profound relationship we experience (and no – I don’t have scientific data to back that claim!). It is also arguably the one relationship which we use as a yardstick to judge all the others that follow. I wonder though how the other people in these “first lovers” lives feel. Can you imagine knowing you were married to someone who was thinking of someone else for your entire marriage?  Surely going back to that first love after having a life with someone else is almost a declaration that everything subsequent to the first love was a mistake.

Which brings me to another film/book – The Bridges of Madison County – In this case, the woman stays with her husband though she has this all consuming love for another man. Okay, he isnt her first love but the question is whether that type of self-sacrificie is a better option? Is it better to suffer in silence knowing your relationship does not compare to the memories in your head. Could our lack of sacrifice and our search for the ultimate love be the reason our divorce rates are so high? How many people would stay in an average relationship if there was the promise of something better? I don’t pretend to know the answers. I do know though that I have learnt that it is better to have tried and failed than to always wonder  what could have been.

LW

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