I have had enough. There I said it.
I am tired of being optimistic – tired of thinking the glass is half full and not half empty.
I am tired of thinking good things come to those who wait…I have been waiting, for a while now and I am sick of tired of it. I want it now.
I am tired of the sweet placades from all of you well meaning people who keep telling me “chin up”, “don’t worry. It will all be alright” and all those other sugar coated words which people use when things arent going well and people dont know what else to say.
I am tired of the look in your eyes as you try to hide the pity you feel for me.
I am tired of saying I am okay when I am not.l want to curl up in a hole somewhere and never get up again, I want to shut down and get out of this horrid rat race and everything that this world holds so dear. Does that scare you – I am sorry. No I am not about to kill myself and I am tired of you thinking that I am.
I am tired of you thinking I am some fragile being that can’t handle anything.
I am tired of you thinking I am invincible and I can take on everything. I am human – I have my good days and my bad – why can’t you just let me be me.
I am tired of it all. Tired of dreaming of bigger better things and not knowing how I am meant to get them. Tired of knowing I can be so much more than what I am right now but not being able to unleash that better being.
So please – let me curl up away from it all and wallow in my misery and grief. I need to get away from everything…including you. I need to be on my own because I am just tired of it all.
kp on RIP Farewell kp on The slow ache sets in Cup of Serenity on So many words ialwayschoosetheassh… on So many words ialwayschoosetheassh… on Once bitten